Today my husband showed me how much he loved me. He does it everyday, but today he really did it. When I was crying about how I had so much ambition but no motivation he grabbed my hand and took me to the door. Stepped outside and said "now which way do you want to go? You see how easy it was to walk out that door?" And it was. It was so easy. So I did it. I walked- first the dogs with Tom and then by myself with the Ipod. And it felt so good. Something so easy. I just needed to take the first step.
I have felt so useless and horrible lately. So depressed. I don't want to get out of bed most days, and stepping outside seemed like the hugest challenge. I am not working for a month in between jobs, we are having a really hard time conceiving a child, and I am just feeling useless. Without purpose. I sit at home all day and just dwell on things. Money, infertility, family issues. Everything. I needed an escape to just chill and relax. The walking did that. And it felt really good. I'm going to make a promise to myself to do it everyday now. I need that time for me. To just jam out to the Ipod and not think about anything. What a blessing.
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