Would you still say you love me Under this ordinary moonlight?

It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And everyday I wish I was small
I've been counting on nothing
But he keeps giving me his word
And I am tired of hearing myself speak
Do you ever get weary?
Do you ever get weak?
How do you dream
When you can't fall asleep?

Some lyrics from Kendall Payne. Been listening to a couple of her songs... pretty powerful stuff.

Had book club the other night. There is such a great group of people. All walks of life with so many stories to tell. A 40 something divorced author with life knowledge some can only imagine, a woman from Pakistan that gives us insight into a different part of the world, a traveling nurse starting her life adventure... the combination of us all with so many different stories and experiences makes for wonderful conversation. I'm so glad my sister in law invited me to be part of this group. You learn alot about yourself by hearing what others have to say.

We ate at the most wonderful indian restaurant. The food was fantastic. I love Indian food. The explosion of flavors in your mouth... the way it makes you feel like you are traveling to another country just by letting your taste buds explore. I could never sicken of great Indian food. I love this city, because there is such a large Indian community- which equals plenty of wonderful Indian restaurants to enjoy. I really wish I would have know how wonderful the cuisine was when I lived in London. London is known for their delicious Indian food (because to be honest, the British themselves can't exactly cook that great). I had my mom whispering in my ear while I was there, telling me that this food was weird... so I thought I wouldn't like it. Man was she wrong. (although she still refuses to believe it is as delicious as I find it) Wow. I am really craving some Chicken Tikki Marsala right now.

So... this lead to my selection for our next book for book club- Eat, Pray, Love. It is such a wonderful book about a womans journey to find herself after a bad divorce. She goes to Italy, India, and Indonesia. It Italy she eats, in India she prays, and in Indonesia she loves. I have read it before, but I feel that it so much fits into what I am seeking in my life right now. A journey of self acceptance, of learning to love yourself, of praying and trusting that the right thing will happen. I'm going to read it again. I know this time it will effect me much deeper than it did the first time I read it, when everything was still all bottled up and jumbled around inside.

I owe so many people in my life an apology for my behavior at times. For my anger that sweeps in like a monster and I lose control of. I can't ask them to forget, but I hope they can forgive. I hope they know that I am trying so hard to make this journey a successful one, and that I won't stop until I do. This is for me, but also for all of you. Thanks for your patience and your love. It means more than you could ever know.