What a blah, crappy day today. I sure hope it clears up soon. These are the days that make you want to curl up in a ball and sleep all day. I had a bad night last night. Very emotional one. I laid it all out on the line with someone I love, and now I regret it. I don't like to hurt people... but they asked for it. It won't make any difference and doesn't change a darn thing, so I don't really see the point of all the tears. So... needless to say I binged on crackers and pasta and felt like a stuffed hog. Obviously I need to get my emotional eating under control bigtime. I am still full this morning. Couldn't even eat a good breakfast like I should. Going to be good for the rest of the weekend. Gotta get back on track!

I need to change my weigh ins from Thursday to Monday starting this week. Since with my new schedule and not being in the vault anymore, I will have to work past 5:30 on Thursdays. Monday meetings are at 7, so that is nice. I dread not having a whole week to work on it though. I'm sure the scale will be up after a night like last night.

I think I will take the dogs to the dog park later. Hopefully the rain will stay away and it will clear up a bit so I can do that. I'm also going to make a trip to the farmer's market. Hopefully get something yummy to eat tonight.

Met with home loan dude last night. How depressing. Since I am scheduled for 38 hrs a week, but work 40 (we are scheduled 38 because we always have overtime, and this way we avoid going over 40) my debt to income ratio was a little bit too high because they have to go by what I am scheduled. So, I had to buy my rate down to 4.5%, which is a good thing.... but also a bad thing. It is going to cost me an extra 1600 bucks that I hadn't planned on and don't have right now. Tom has this new job that only gets paid once a month, so we will have plenty on the 1st of July... but closing is the 23rd of June. Boooooo! I think we are going to have to beg on our hands and knees for his parents to lend us the money for a week until he gets paid. I sure hope they can or I don't know what we will do. We might have to sell Tom's body on craigslist :) I just have faith that it will all work out, and the bills I have paid off already will make up for at least 1000 of that so maybe we'll only need 600 more. Buying a house is the most stressful thing I have ever done. I take that back. Wedding planning and dealing with both sides trying to get me to change my plans was the most stressful.... this, however is a hefty bump in the road. He said he won't have a grand total of what I need to pay until the day before closing or even the day of because they need to get everything all calculated up. What an ordeal. First I find out I have to pay off the car too, because it is in both our names... now this. Sometimes I think this just isn't meant to be, but then I drive past the house one more time and think of how wonderful it will be and it all seems worth it.

It all seems very grown up. Buying a house, trying to start a family. It is really scary. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm married, buying a house, and planning a life. Wow. Talk about responcibility. But talk about fun!! I can't wait to caulk the bathroom, clean out the gutters, garden, mow, clean, paint, and do everything that comes with home ownership. What a sense of pride to own something like that and know what it will mean to you and your family. I am so greatful to have been able to do this. Everything happens for a reason. I saw that sign and made the call and fell in love with what would become our first home. It saddens me that dad can't be here to see it, but I hope he knows that he made this possible for me. Without the money I was left after he died this wouldn't have been possible. I would have had to live in an apartment for years and years. Hopefully he can see it from up there and be proud of me. Cause I'm kinda proud of me :)